None of this came out right
I don’t know to express this and it’s not that
I didn’t give it the whole night because I did and it
still won’t help me

resist

I want to take time back from setting
my clock
Those wasted minutes as I twisted a knob for
the tick tock
You never dared and you didn’t do enough
and it never will be

I see the flower and I feel the way that I felt then
It’s a different hour but the senses, memories; match
Between the flower and where I walked was a view of new
A novelty alone for me, a high from life and waterfalls and dice
I didn’t walk all the way away but it’s out of sight
I don’t think I can still see the glass lit light
No, I can, but maybe it’s afraid of me
It’s never going to change
The shards of light pierce right through me

A Projection On Paper Poem Prolongation (I had to try too hard for that alliteration…)

Down in the dark in cold concrete cave past evergreen trees.
He lays on his side, waiting to die, and lets out a cough.
I walked by the man and felt a chill.
Perfectly still.
Deathly ill.
It was as if I was him in that moment that gave me the fright.
I walked away slowly, back into the light.
Back up to the campus.
And back to my room.
I stayed there an hour.
Then had to move.
I stepped outside.
Still saw his face.
I knew he was there.
Left for dead.
Without a trace.
I wanted to go back.
But something kept me away.
I stayed on the bench.
And let my thoughts drift away.
Next week I had a test.
I couldn’t afford to stand out.
I should let him lay there.
No one knows him besides.
I had to avoid being discovered.
They could not know I had went undercover.
The college’s rules were strict.
Death was the master.
I still thought of that man.
This school is a disaster.

Author’s Note: An extension on Man in the Darkness. I’m still not too impressed by it, but I wanted to extend it.

I’ve tried too many times to figure
this out.
So instead I will try to forget
the situation I’ve sprinted my way to, though.
This isn’t the easiest path to conceive
but I won’t find anther route.
I’d rather cast you off.
Get out of my mind.
Get off of my road.
I’ve known you too long.
And now its time for you to go.
And you will run.
Run like clouds at dawn.
You will never be found.
(If you will not by me)
I’m sick of working for illusions of desire,
and for words that you never speak.
Of trying to make you see how you
are so beautiful.
So just run away.
I’m not giving up.
No, I’m seeing the finale.
It just happens that involves being done with you.
I don’t wish you ill, I only dream you
gone.
Find someone else to torture
with your apathy.
Leach and feed on their mind
and see how long they survive.

Author’s Note: I’m extremely empathetic (unlike this character at the end of his rope) and writing this was a challenge. I still wanted to write it. Pretty mean note. I used a lot of language found in Illusion, but they are not (that) related in topic. I have had a few people call Illusion an anti-love letter though. Illusion was more about just knowing people (and if you can), so I took some of that and put it in here.

I don’t want to go to sleep
because I want to live forever
and if the day never ends
then I will never die

Diamonds fall like crystallized rain
Frozen in the endless
expanse of time
in memoriam.
Hanging in the space
between the winds,
and the storm,
and ice.

Trapped but not restrained, the glitters
exist there by their own choosing,
but do not choose
only exist.
Because shining is not a decision,
and proximity is often frail,
so while they are here,
they are not near.

The catch of life
When heart bounces
Jumps
Not stop
Just faster
And suddenly nothing seems to matter
Except that person
In that moment
And the space between you and them

Close your eyes let yourself fall into another location.
A pure and powerful vocation.
Leading to a full bearing view of your soul.
Within this space of breathless spirit,
of soundless invocation,
of boundless invigoration,
and yet total relaxation,
nothing seems to exist.

Wisdom listen hearing the whisper
Be strong, direct
And never look em in the eye
Waiting raging
Smiling a frown
Happy day
Hello you say
Follow me away this way

Ice cream light rays put your beams on high
Be brave, resolved
And try to step over the line
Tables chairs
Waiting around inside
Take a pic
Retrace your luck
Over-caffeinated bluff

Sleep fall deep before the darkness comes
Be calm, move on
And know the self denies
Winter blitz
Salt lands in the eye
Wake at dawn
Completely wrong
Embrace the destiny along