It’s already up in flame and I’m still sitting still and watching and I’m not going to move a muscle because there’s no point in trying to put out an apocalypse that’s been feeding on logs of determination and tinder of fear and a land of lies when I’m already through and I’ve already seen the past and that’s all I need to know how the future concludes I’ve watched it all hit the floor seen em’ fall one by one until they were no more and it’s not changing anytime soon no it’s going to be this way long before and after doom has found its way into the soul of the world and the core of the situation and each and every one of us is past due because the world can’t stay like this forever and this kind of fire cannot just burn it will consume it will destroy it will combust and conflagrate and all of the other “C” words for fiery things because there is no fire without a sea because water is a lack of fire no lies without truth and no light without dark that whole deal and let me tell you it’s much better this way because as it all keeps burning (and it’s never going to stop) the only thing left will be the sea until it too burns it won’t be in fire but it will burn and it will be destroyed just like the rest and just like all of us because our world is not a burning bush and our world is not fire retardant and it can only stay for so long and I’m not talking about the environment and I’m not talking about global war I’m talking about us and I’m talking about what we used to be and I’m talking about the future and I’m saying that I’ve seen the past and that I know it won’t repeat itself but it will carry on and it’s not going to change course and that the only way I can be free is to watch it all burn because if I do that I can finally have peace and I can finally exist and I will be in control in this spiraling torrent of chaotic past future present that we call living and I’ll make it to the end and along the way I’ll be something and I’ll do something and I’ll be immortal and it won’t be because of the past it will be because of what happens as we burn.

Author’s Note: I haven’t lost it, just writing some stream of consciousness today. Maybe I’m still in 2012 Mayan apocalypse mode.This one has a lot of meaning despite the insane tone.

You know what I need from you
I’m staring down into the sea
The resting place of your grave
I want to tie it right down
Then pull the rip cord like a top
Watch until it slips and flops
A shiny ray of destiny
A wave of brilliant darkness
The trench bursts – frights
Sounds of fear and then silence
Water, please bury this for me
Tides, send everything away
That’s what I need
So please

Stare it down and sail off into heaven
Never thought this could happpen
I’ve been stuck sailing due north
Never more view the iris of silver
Completely lost in havok
Twisted but not deformed
All around me the wind starts to shift
Blows right into my sail
Walls start to fall and break
Turning now fading hard into fate
This is not what I wanted
And still I want even more
And I know you don’t have to be perfect
Still I will try to fight this
Don’t know what I stand for

It all starts with the first paragraph
A pair of hearts
Or some vengeance to enact
To my left is some ink stored in a bottle of glass
I put my quill down and take a breath before I crash

A long time ago or maybe just last week
A stormy night or up on a mountain’s peak
A sunny day or a darkened stormy night
The actors take their stand as I exit far, far stage right

I only wrote the plot-line
I don’t ever direct
My vision unfolds
but the producer makes it wind up not like I recollect

It’s the role I play
The price I pay for my success
I never follow through
I only go on to write another
Exposed,
Rising,
Conflicted,
Climatically
Descending
Mess

Transcendentalist laying in a hammock
He looks out over the ocean burgundy
Says “I don’t think this is where the plane left me.”
He forgets that he took a left at the last road
Puts on some roller skates and gets stuck in the sand
Thinks back to where this all began
Says “I remember now it all started when I bought that hat.”
And he goes from there saying silly stuff like that
Goes up to the sandbar to get himself a drink
Remembers sandbars are dry and leaves before he gets too weak
Takes a gallon long drink from the ocean and winds up loopy
As if he wasn’t before, but now he can leave be
He looks behind himself and back to the hammock
Says “Hey wait why did I drink that damn it.”
I mean it’s not like it’s that easy
But with burgundy seas and salt-crazed crazies
It begs the question if it’s that easy

Continue reading →

Add it to the list
Write it in words lost on wind
Another entry of this fear
The lines, they tie me down, they keep me here
With every breath and moment I live
I know I have so much to give
If I could only I could awaken

Faster faster
Forward
Advance
Spin spin spin spin
Spin spin spin spin
Spin spin spin spin
Spin spin spin spin
Spin spin spin spin
Spin spin spin spin
World in motion
Keep up
Run faster
Faster faster
Advance

Only one direction – forward
I tried going back
I failed
I can only go forward

Black wrappings, soles and soul by the door
I got them a week ago
Trashed
Three holes
Two tears
Deformed
Dirty
Faster

If I don’t run
The world will leave me behind
It’s not that same cliche – “life is short, time is unrelenting”
No
Life is long
Time is a competitor
A rival to race against
I will win
I will go faster

Slow down? Shut up.
I’m going the right speed.
You’re standing still.
It’s not relative.
You are wrong.

Calm down? Wake up.
You’re stuck, dazed in your sixteen hour refrain.
I don’t hear it.
And I don’t hear you.

No more.
Quiet.
Not even a sound
Never never never never again.
I race time, chase it down.