So the other day in World of Warcraft I defeated Deathwing once again in the nifty looking for raid system. At the end of the “raid” as they are called, you get a chance at rare weapons. For some reason, the game did not allow me to roll for my chance at the weapons.

Being the good humored writer that I am I decided that the best course of action would be to report the final boss of cataclysm for ninja looting. For the less informed, that is a term for stealing items from another player.

“I would like to open a ticket to report Deathwing, the Aspect of the Black Dragon Flight for ninja looting. Upon killing Deathwing in LFR (he name changed recently from Neltharion the Earth-Warder, idk if that matters for tracking purposes) he refused to let me roll on his shiny weapons, but still gave me gold and 250 valor points. When we started the raid, Deathwing clearly said that the loot rolls were everyone could roll on class specific items if we kill him, so he is in violation of the ToS.”

I now have proof that the Blizzard customer service reps are clearly mindless drones. I expected a confused response as to why I would report a non-player character, but I instead received the form letter back that you get when you report any player for taking loot from you. Obviously my report was not even read.

“We will investigate your report and take all necessary and appropriate actions to address this matter. Due to privacy concerns, we will not be able to notify you of our findings, nor of the actions necessary for resolution of this issue.”

I realize that I may have thrown a sort of confusing ticket their way, but was that really the best response they could come up with? “We will look into the matter, but we cannot tell you if the other player receives a ban or not”? He is a giant dragon controlled by the computer! Not a player! Could you at least read the things I send you?

Deathwing has taken the virtual lives of thousands. On the off chance he is banned, the nerds of Azeroth have me to thank.